How Im (Positively) Dealing with Comparing Despairing - When I Grow Up

How Im (Positively) Dealing with Comparing Despairing - When I Grow Up My friendleagues (friends who are my colleagues / colleagues who are my friends) are spectacular. They are not trophy wives or trust fund recipients. They are women without their masters, or any traditional business education for that matter. Most of them have been in business as long as I have, or just a bit longer or shorter. And yet, here they are: consistently selling $5k+ courses, leading large events, hosting top podcasts, hiring employees and making $100K+ with each program launch. They say things like, Im going to charge $1500 for this and cap it at 150 people and they actually sell every spot. They invest thousands in coaching and shift their business model and triple the price of their program and gross $20K+ in a day. They have enough freelancers working for them that they refer to them as my team. Its enough to continually come up short when, well, you compare yourself to them. When you compare the size of your audience to theirs. When you compare your latest launch numbers to theirs. When you compare your overall income projections to theirs. And when I say you, I mean me. Please believe me when I say: I  love my business. Please believe me when I say: I know how good I have it. Please believe me when I say: Business is thriving, and I  never take it for granted. Please believe me when I say: I am  nothing but happy for my friendleagues. They deserve it all and then some. And yet, I cant  stop the impulse to compare and despair when my peers are raising their prices, making more money and getting a larger reach than I am.   I feel like Ive ridden a roller coaster for the last few months, and its finally slowing to a stop. Ive experienced the high highs of a new program selling out and then some, and the low lows of wondering if I even know what the heck Im doing as a business owner, if Im playing too small or severely limiting myself somehow (because seriously, how have things not blown up by now like it has for everyone else Ive ever known aaaaaaaahhhhhh?!?!?!?!). When my Compare Despair flares up, heres whats helped: Letting myself really feel it. Like, lay-on-the-floor-and-cry feel it. Cause seriously, its important to feel your feelings. Pushing them down never solves anything. Ask what it is Im jealous of.  Obviously, theres something that they have that I want. But if I ask myself this question, Im usually surprised at the answer. Its usually not whatever-theyre-doing-to-get-that-result, but the result itself. I would not trade my business model or offerings for anything my friendleagues are doing. Do I want a $100K launch? Sure! Do I want it by doing XYZ to promote it, or to have an offer just like ABC? Nope. I want that result, but  my way. Which brings me to Keep my eyes on my own paper.  Once Im clear on how  I want to run my business what  I want to offer, who  I want to work with, what  I want to charge, what  I want my time and energy to go towards then I need to keep my head down and stay true to  my vision. My own dream business does not come from trying to emulate someone elses dream business. It comes, instead, from my own vision, manifestation, effort, execution and follow through. Using it to open up my belief of whats possible.  Holy crapballs, when my friendleague tripled the price of her program, conducted dozens of sales calls and had more sign-ups in a week than I usually get in many months, it  wrecked me even though I was so proudcited for her. I thought: Is everything Ive learned a sham? Have I been doing it all wrong? Am I the biggest idiot ever (man, practicing compassion was hard that week!)? But once that passed (see: feel your feelings), I realized: WHOA! LOOKIT WHATS POSSIBLE! And my own income goals pushed passed what would normally be that limit, and I made subsequent changes so I can do my damndest to get there. My own confidence and trust has increased, and Im working on my own money mindset to shift it for the better. Practice gratitude.  I always say that the simplification of what I aim to do for my clients is to get them to the point where they wake up in the morning, think of the day ahead, and look forward to the vast majority of it. I am constantly joyful and thankful (and still totally amazed, almost 8 years after I started doing this work full time) about the from-the-heavens clients who find and hire me, the projects I have the honor of working on, the lifelong friends Ive made because of this business. It doesnt hurt that the money that comes in from being The When I Grow Up Coach has allowed my family to buy a house, pay for day care and let my husband work less on the projects that dont light him up. The more I go through my day-to-day thinking, Yes, this is what I want to spend my time on and who with, yes yes yes, the more thankful  and peaceful I am with where my business is right here, right now and where I know its going. Compare and Despair? More like Consort and Support! That is the attitude my friendleagues have shown me.  That is the light we collectively shine. Can you believe theres room for us all to succeed in our own dream businesses as one while also on our own unique path? Let me help you get there by working together one-on-one this spring. No-obligation apps are open through Friday, and then not again til August-ish! Learn more right here.